


The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

by Shmeowzow



Series: Good Boys/Bad Girls [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:48:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7063222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmeowzow/pseuds/Shmeowzow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patricia Chase wakes up from a coma with no memory of how she got in the hospital. Steve Rogers has both grave and interesting news for her, but in the end he reveals too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chase opened her eyes in a hospital room. One of those sterile, stainless steal numbers that looked more like an experimentation cell than anything. Though the bright light made her eyes sting, she saw what vaguely resembled an IV in her arm, and she could feel the oxygen hose snaking its way around her face. In spite of the obnoxious pounding in her head she heard the shrill beeping of a heart monitor. When she opened her eyes wider her heart skipped a beat, because she thought the room was empty and she had an overwhelming sense of not wanting to be alone, but then she heard a sharp intake of breath in a corner she couldn't see. Two people stood up at once, Chase tried to move so she could see who, but it sent sharp lines of pain through her neck and arm. Not good. Why was she in so much pain? The person who got to her first was her friend and sometimes lover, Natasha Romanov. The red-head was disheveled, as if she'd been in the same clothes for a while, and her green eyes were wide set in her narrow face. Natasha took Chase's face in her delicate hands, turning it slowly from left to right. Chase winced, but she knew moving the muscles would be good for them. Natasha then hugged her gently before stepping away from the bed. "I have to go now. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Her signature monotone was the first human voice Chase had heard since she awoke. Natasha was a very serious human being, and never more so about anything than her work. She didn't make a habit of putting it on hold for anyone, and Chase couldn't imagine what had occurred to incite the exception. She suspended her confusion about what the hell happened and why exactly she was here, and nodded stiffly. "Thanks Natty."

Chase was not anticipating how much it hurt her from the inside out to speak; also not good. Her entire throat felt swollen, tight, and dry. She briefly pondered the extent of her injuries when Natasha nodded and smiled at her. It didn't reach her eyes. She then looked at Steve, who was standing but hadn't moved toward Chase yet, and said a curt goodbye. The door clicked softly shut behind her, leaving the room a emptier. Chase's gaze drifted to Steve; his clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a mess, and the circles under his eyes were highlighting how pallid his already fair skin looked. He was tired, and dehydrated. What could have happened, was there some kind of national emergency, or terrorist attack? Why couldn't she remember? Her head already hurt so badly, but trying to recall the events that lead to her hospitalization only made it sear like fire behind her eyes. She made a small noise, bringing a hand to her forehead. Steve was there in an instant, sitting down on the side of her bed, removing her clammy hand from her face, and replacing it with his warm palm. Chase sighed, because the heat and pressure turned the pain down a click, plus, his had covered over twice the territory that hers did.  Then Chase didn't feel any pain at all, at least for a moment, because she was surrounded by warmth. Encompassed by Steve's chest, and his arms, and his scent. "Chaser," he mumbled into the hair behind her ear while he embraced her, and it made her shiver. Though she craved his closeness and the ease it brought her, Chase pressed gently against Steve and he leaned away from her, but he wouldn't let go of her hand. The look in his eyes, which he never took off of hers, was distressing to her. She couldn't tell if he was happy she was alive, or tearing himself apart because she was hurt, and she didn't think he could either. "S-steve-"

"I'm sorry, but Please don't try to talk, Chase."

She didn't even realize how much she missed the smooth lilt of his voice until she heard it, but this was a difficult situation because Chase couldn't speak, and if she couldn't speak, Steve didn't have to answer any questions he didn't want to, and that was just not going to work. She stared at him, determined, and managed with difficulty to say, "Tell me everything."

Steve crumbled a bit, he clearly didn't want to talk about whatever happened, or he wasn't prepared. Probably both. Steve was an awkward boy, through and through. He would never be good at these kinds of things, but she had asked, so he had to tell her. "Buck killed you, Chase."

There was a ringing in Chase's ears as she stared at Steve. She expected him to keep talking, but he didn't. That was a good decision, because she wouldn't have heard him anyways. Killed? If Chase had been killed, then why was she here? Why would he phrase it like that, did she flat-line and come back from something? From what? She couldn't stop thinking, what the fuck happened, over and over again in her head and when she heard a high pitched keening from a machine to her left she realized she'd forgotten to breathe. Steve collected her against himself again, petted her hair, reminded her to breathe, and waited until he thought she was ready to continue. "You went on a mission to find Bucky, for me."

He stopped and looked down, chuckling a little. "You wouldn't let me go. You knew I wouldn't be able to see him like that. You knew."

Despite the shooting pain in her head, Chase scrambled, grasping at straws in her mind to recall exactly what happened that got her here. She remembered walking in the dark. She had a target, so that's where she was probably headed. She could see the darkness and hear the whispering of wind in the trees, but that's all she could remember. It wasn't all she could feel about her memories though. She felt Steve's pain, her guilt, and somewhere in the mix, she could smell someone she didn't know. Chase didn't understand why she couldn't remember what happened between her going to find Bucky and her current state of being. Steve began rattling off her injuries like he was reading them off of a list, or as if he'd been repeating them to himself over and over. He said things like her clavicle had been dislocated, her right hip was broken, her femur was fractured, that Bucky had damn near crushed her trachea, and that he did crush her skull. Steve squeezed her hand harder, he'd begun shaking again. "He beat you so badly they had to do surgery, put a metal plate in your head...but it didn't work. I watched you die."

So she had flat-lined. Major injury to the skull would definitely explain her memory loss, but the look on Steve's face said it was more than just that. "They were taking you to the-they were taking you away, when we got a call from Nick."

That piqued Chase's interest. It had been a while since anyone had heard from Fury. The last time Chase saw him was at the incident in Sokovia. "He said there was a serum that could bring you back. He had it airlifted this way as soon as he heard the news, all we had to do was make the choice."

Choice, why would there be a choice concerning bringing her back to life? Panic started to beat at the edge of Chase's thoughts while he continued. "He told me that the serum could save you, but it would change you, and that there was a chance it wouldn't be for the better, and an even bigger chance that you would die. Again."

Chase thought she heard his voice crack, so she touched her fingers to his face. She was almost certainly having a harder time processing her having been dead for an extended period of time than Steve was, but she had to be strong for him, because she needed him to keep talking. She needed to know more about this whole serum situation. "You've been out for a few days. They've run every test they have that would give them an idea of the effects on you, and they still can't tell me anything."

Chase didn't know why, but her heart skipped involuntarily when she heard him say _me_  instead of  _we_. "The only thing they noted was some irregular brain patterns while you were out, but docs say that's a side effect of retrograde amnesia. They want to keep you at least until they can find what the serum may have done, at most a few weeks."

Steve had trouble looking her in the eye, because he knew she wasn't going to like that news in particular. Chase stared at him and shook her head in spite of the light prickles of pain it caused. She was not staying here any longer. She didn't like the idea of being given some weird miracle serum, even if it meant she would be dead right now if they hadn't, and she sure as hell wasn't sticking around to let them run any more "tests" on her. They should have spent more effort making sure she had enough painkillers to be comfortable. Chase was getting out of here, one way or another. Steve looked at her then, and said, "Yeah, I know. I'll tell them you want a release asap."

Chase silently thanked him for not putting up a fight about her staying. She respected him for not objecting, because she knew how badly he wanted to. She could see it in his eyes. He didn't speak for a long time, but there wasn't much else for him to say, at least until Chase could really talk to him. She couldn't ask him to elaborate or any questions of her own, despite the plethora that had materialized and needed tending to. Steve was looking at a wall now, shaking his head, making his blonde hair rustle in and out of his eyes. She hated how defeated he looked, and she wished there was something she could do to reverse or correct it. Chase couldn't stand it when Steve was sad. He was too good to be sad. People that good didn't deserve to ever hurt. "I'm sorry, Chase. I know what I'm about to say isn't fair right now, especially because you can't yell at me."

Chase raised an eyebrow, she could only dream of what he was going to say, and he knew her well enough to know it was something she wasn't going to appreciate. She'd had enough of this day, and she'd only just woken up 10 minutes ago.  Steve looked her in the eye, but he was tapping his foot nervously. "When I saw you die, it was like a hole opened up inside of me and started sucking everything in."

Fuck. Chase knew where this was going. Even in her current state this was worse than dealing with any physical injury. She could deal with pain, pain management was a skill set that kind of came with the territory of her "career" as it were, but this, this Chase could not handle. She had no choice but to watch the on inevitable car crash coming out of Steve's mouth. "When I saw you die, I realized that I couldn't live without you, because I would have let them put me back in that ice a thousand times if it would have made you live again."

Chase squeezed Steve's hand, hard. She knew he knew that meant she didn't want him to say anything else, to stop now before he said something he couldn't take back, but he didn't. "And when I saw your eyes open and heard you breathe again, it made me happier than anything else has since I came back."

Chase was stricken by Steve's outpouring of emotion for her. It made her freeze up because she didn't understand it; she didn't understand this strange kind of compassion he was giving her, because she didn't recognize it, and had no frame of reference. She couldn't remember the last time anyone cared about her this much, and she felt like she was so awful and demeaning to him. She needed to get out of this situation. It was making her itch. "I'm in love with you, Chase."

Chase closed her eyes, and tried to stay calm. No. This was _the_ worst case scenario. She didn't know what to do; because she couldn't speak, and any body language could be easily misconstrued, so she just stayed still and silent. Steve also remained silent for quite some time. His shoulders were slumped, and though Chase's hand was still in his, he wasn't holding it really. She knew she was going to have to make a move. The ball was in her court, but she felt like the playbook was written in a different language. Chase cared about Steve deeply, and it hurt her to hurt him, but he wanted so badly for her to be a different person. She wasn't even sure he knew enough about her to really be in love with her. She settled on that. He couldn't really be in love, because he didn't know what there was to love, so this was fixable. She could fix this. Just when she thought she had to do something to break the silence, Steve spoke up again. "And I didn't realize until you died, that I love everything about you. I love that you're tough and you work hard, I love that you challenge everyone around you, I don't know why, but I even love your bad habits."

A tear squeezed it's way out the bottom of Chase's eyelid and rolled down her cheek. She couldn't help it. She had to make him stop, this was too much for her right now. The pain in her head was blinding; she couldn't even think, so she just kept squeezing Steve's finger harder and harder. If he had been a normal man, she may have broken his finger, but he wasn't, so he just looked down at his hand as if wondering why he felt so much pressure. When Chase opened her eyes and he saw that she was crying, Steve's face fell. "I'm so sorry Chaser, I shouldn't have done that, please don't cry."

Steve couldn't decide if he wanted to hold Chase, or leave her alone so she could rest. He never should have come out like that to her, he was so disappointed in himself he couldn't stand it, but he had wanted her to know so badly, he couldn't keep his mouth shut. She removed her hand from his and pressed her fingers against her head, then looked him dead in the eye, hoping he'd understand. She knew he did, but he wouldn't look at her. "I'll go get a nurse."

Goddammit. Chase could not process this right now. First of all, she was apparently brutally murdered by Steve's best friend, couldn't remember a fucking thing leading up to it, then got her body poked, prodded, and resurrected, all without her knowledge. This random serum could turn her into a fucking platypus for all she knew. Then Steve induced her worst nightmare by telling her he loved her. Before she could wallow in any more self pity, Steve and a male nurse came through the door. Steve looked comically huge next to the smaller young man in purple scrubs, who began fiddling with her IV and adjusting some of the machines, while Chase stared Steve Rogers right in the eye over the nurse's shoulder. She didn't know why, or what kind of look she was even giving him, but she just kept her eyes on his, and he didn't blink staring back. She couldn't read him. His arms were crossed over his broad chest, making his biceps bulge and tighten. Why couldn't their relationship be simple? She wanted lust and companionship, but he wanted more, love, too much. Chase couldn't take the crushing responsibility of his feelings, and it was making her cave in. When the nurse left, Chase started to feel light and drowsy. Steve stood still across from her, and they continued staring in each other's eyes. Steve's chest heaved, and he sighed. "The earliest they'll release you is tomorrow afternoon."

Chase figured she could handle another 18 or so hours in this hell hole, as long as she could sleep through most of it. Steve didn't know what to say, again. "I don't know if- or if I should...do you want me to leave?"

He stumbled over his words and Chase wondered whether or not she wanted him to stay, and whether them being together any longer would aid or worsen the situation. She didn't want him to be there because he was right, coming out with that shit right when she was in this condition wasn't fair to her. On the other hand, she was injured and alone in some cold hospital full of people she didn't trust. She didn't have anybody else. Chase slowly raised her arm up and extended her fingers toward Steve. A light switched on in his eyes that made her heart hurt, and he moved toward an armchair in the corner, dragging it all the way to her bedside. He sat down and buried his head in her hands. "I'm sorry," he murmured into her fingers.

She didn't know if it was the painkillers, or her inexplicable compassion for Steve's feelings when she pulled him toward her. He closed the space between their mouths and gently kissed her bruised lips. It didn't hurt, though it probably would have if the nurse hadn't generously drugged her. His lips were soft and soothing, as always, but never more so than now. 

Steve pulled away and lay his head on the pillow just above Chase's shoulder. Right then she tried not to care about the fact that she had died, that she was injured, that Bucky was still out there somewhere doing who knew what. Chase rested her hand in Steve's sandy hair, and began to twitch with memory. She felt hair in her hands much different than his; longer, more course, more textured. When the flash was over Chase glanced down, alarmed, ran her fingers over his head once more. He didn't move. His eyes were closed, but she didn't think he was asleep. Just resting, or maybe he was trying to disappear.

Chase finally gave in and let the fuzzy edges of the painkillers consume her thoughts and take away feeling from her limbs. She wanted to know what exactly got her here, why Bucky killed her, and what the fuck she was going to do about Steve. Despite these thoughts ricocheting through her mind, the last thing that occurred to her before she drifted away was that whatever the fuck had happened, she was glad she wasn't alone.


	2. The Ice King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The War is over, and with the help of T'Challa, Bucky makes a difficult descision that Chase tries to talk him out of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little blurb skips a lot of events, but there will be flashback filler in the future. This exchange is just what spoke to me, it forced its way out before its time.

"You don't have to do this."

Bucky's back was turned to Chase, one arm hung limply at his side, the other had been disposed of per his own wishes, and the air hung empty where the great metal battering ram had once belonged. She almost missed it. His shoulders heaved as if he sighed, but Chase hadn't heard anything. "You know that I do."

Chase approached Buck from behind, laying a hand on his bad shoulder, maybe a little too tightly; he tensed under her grip. "That's not true."

It came out as a whisper even though she'd meant to shout, it just didn't seem so worth it right now. His chest rumbled as he spoke, "I need to go back under. I can't hurt anyone anymore, you more than anyone should-"

Chase didn't let him finish. "I won't let you. You can get better, I can help you get better. Steve can help you get better. You're not alone anymore, you have a support system; a group of people who would do anything for you, who know your damage, and are better equipped to help you manage it than anyone else alive." 

His hair hung in his eyes, and he still wouldn't look at her. Chase's own bangs had grown choppy and tickled at her eyelashes. Her hand moved downward, over his shoulder, down across his back, tracing his tense muscles through the thin cotton of his white ribbed tank top. "I got a few good licks in."

Bucky shivered, but it was only for a moment. "It's not just that. I can't do this with you anymore, Chase."

Chase's hand fell into the empty air, and before she could ask him what he meant he continued quietly, "This weird fucking  _dance_ with you and Steve."

Chase let out a sigh.  _Shit._ She didn't know what to say. There wasn't much she could say, he was justified in his resolve against her. Then she had an ugly, selfish thought. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, as if she thought better of it, but the words slipped out anyways. "What about Sharon?" 

This time he looked at her. Right in the eyes. He was grimacing. "What, Princess afraid she wont be the center of attention anymore?" 

Bucky's words stung Chase deeply. She never knew why, but he was always able to cut her deeper than Steve; deeper than anyone. Maybe it was because he was the only one who really understood her. Maybe it was because they were so alike. He knew how to cut her because he knew how to cut himself. She held his gaze. "I don't mean that the way it sounded, I mean, what if that's what he needs? What if she was all he needed to really be happy, what then?" 

He sighed, frustrated. "You see, this is exactly what I mean. Everyone around you knows what they want but you, Chase. I mean, for Christ sake, you fucked  _Tony_."

A tear she had been fighting slipped from Chase's eye and slid down her cheek. She couldn't help it. "He knew. He was going to tell Steve to hurt him. I was drunk." 

Tony revealed to her that night just how dirty he could play, and just how willing he was to deal a low blow to Steve when he was already hurting. Chase could never decide how much she regretted that little piece of herself she'd given up to Tony to protect Steve. She'd had to do so much in the passing years to protect Steve, mostly from herself. "Yeah, you got drunk after you realized you were going to have to fuck Steve's former best friend to keep him from telling Steve that you were fucking his other best friend in the middle of a war they were on opposite sides of."

Chase stepped away from him, not bothering to mention that Stark could have just as easily blackmailed him the way he did Chase, he just happened to have her at arm's length at the time. "Why are you punishing me for asking you to stay?"

He turned around and faced her, looking down at her under his dark lashes. "Because it's unfair of you to ask me to stay when we both know you will never love me."

Again, Chase didn't know what to say, it seemed like the only thing everyone wanted from her was the one thing she wasnt sure how to give anymore, but she tried anyways. "I don't think I'm capable of truly loving anyone." 

Bucky gave her a cold look, full of an emotion she wasn't even sure he could place. "You love him, Kid." 

Chase's heart froze, but she ignored it, along with his words, she hated that he and Steve both had taken to calling her _Kid._  "Steve needs you. We've all done things we aren't proud of. That's why we need to stay together more than ever now. You can't just quit on us. On Steve."

A look crossed Bucky's face for an instant. Maybe he did regret leaving Steve behind again. He regulated his breathing carefully. "Steve's tough," and that was all he said.

Chase moved toward Bucky and he fought to stay still. She hugged him, throwing herself against him, grasping her arms around his neck. Bucky calculated his reactions, despite how badly he wanted to take her in his arm and devour her whole, he merely snaked his one arm around her waist and steadied himself to bear her weight. She buried her face in his neck and stayed there, forcing her sweet smelling hair against his cheek and mouth. He clenched his jaw, inhaling slowly. Chase enjoyed the pleasant way his jugular felt as it pumped away faintly under her mouth. She pressed her lips against it, just a slight increase of of pressure, and Bucky's body stiffened. "Pats, please don't-" 

 _Pats._ It was the only variation of her first name she hadn't come to despise yet. She pressed her lips against his mouth, effectively quieting his objections. For whatever reason, Bucky hadn't prepared himself for this. He knew Chase was going to protest when he suggested going back under the ice in Wakanda until some kind of treatment was discovered that could sever all ties to Bucky's mental activators, so he could finally be free of Hydra's brainwashing. He felt too dangerous awake, even with his weaponized arm gone; especially around so many people he cared for, or at the very least respected. He had expected her to disagree, maybe even try to lay him out, but he hadn't expected her to beg, and he hadn't expected her to come to him like this. Chase so rarely begged gor anything; he'd only ever seen her beg twice, once was a flash of memory from the day she'd found him after he retreated the first time, when she'd begged him not to kill her, and the second time was very recently, when she begged Tony Stark not to kill him after discovering he was the soldier chosen by Hydra to dispatch the billionaire's parents.

_The three of them watched the grainy video end in silence. "What is this?!" Tony's voice sliced through the room and Chase's gaze cut to Bucky. There were tears in his eyes and it made her hurt. Steve made a move to stop Tony as he turned toward Bucky, but Tony stopped him with a blow from his power suit, making Chase cry out. Bucky raised his gun and Chase snapped around toward Stark, whose own eyes were welling in anger. She looked up at him, both palms splayed wide. She was the only thing between he and Barnes now. "Tony, stop. Think before you do something you can't take back."_

_He continued moving slowly toward her, but he never took his eyes off of Barnes. "No Patricia, that's usually your play."_

_Chase ignored him, he was just trying to bait her, like a child. "Tony, please."_

_Stark stopped moving when he came to stand directly in front of her. "You know, it's amazing to me that after everything I've done for you, for all of you, that you would still defend him after seeing what he's capable of. You, you already know what he's capable of first hand, Chase, in fact if it weren't for me, he would have succeeded in putting your lights out. Something tells me old Mr. Rogers over there would be singning a different tune if he'd actually managed it."_

_Chase ignored him. "Fury is the one that made the call to have the serum airlifted in."_

_Tony laughed then, and Chase made a mental note of how rarely she'd ever seen him smile. "Who do you think he made the call to, Chase? It sure as hell wasn't Barnes."_

_Tony's involvement, whether real or imagined, in her coming back from the dead didn't matter. He couldn't hold something over her head when it had only been the right thing to do. "Please, Tony. Don't do this. You know he didn't mean it."_

_Tony looked at her with something similar to hatred in his eyes. He was so full of rage she could practically taste it. "He didn't mean it isn't going to bring my parents back." Before Chase could say anything else he threw her out of the way with a blast, and she hit something far across the room beind her with a painful smack. She cried out Bucky's name as Tony tackled him to the ground, but her protests had bought Steve enough time to get back on his feet and hurl his sheild Tony's direction._

Chase's warm tongue entered Bucky's mouth and he sighed. Resisting her was getting harder and harder, among other things. It had been a long time since the last time he and Chase were intimate, or at the very least it felt like it to him. He could always remember the way she tasted when he thought about it hard enough. Right now he didn't have to, her taste invaded every corner of his mouth. Chase jumped, wrapping her legs around Bucky's slender hips, and his arm instinctively caught her, cradling her body closely against his as their tongues and teeth fought for dominance. Even with one arm he supported her weight easily, and her legs bound her tightly to him. It was the warmth he could feel through her skirt and thin panties pressed against his now gently throbbing groin that was giving him pause. Could they really get away with it here, now? Who knew how much longer they would be alone.They'd certainly gotten away with it in similarly risky circumstances before. For all Bucky knew, Chase had carefully planned all of this out and he was just along for the ride. Then she stopped kissing him. He was breathing very heavily. "I'll only do this if you want to. If you send me away, I'll go," the words she whispered against his mouth made him shiver, for how could he ever send her away when she could so easily manipulate him into this, when he'd never been able to say no to her before? He answered her only with a sharp thrust of his hips upward, tearing a large gasp from Chase's throat. Bucky clenched his arm tighter around her, giving her no room to retreat from him. 

He growled when she pushed back, a deep noise that rolled through his chest. Chase pointed in the direction of a chair, and Barnes carried her over to it, sitting down and piling her into his lap. Her fingers pawed at his belt buckle but he wasn't making it easy, he was grasping her ass in his hand just hard enough to leave marks. When she finally got his pants undone, she shrugged them down around his ankles and disposed of her own underwear. He gazed up at her. She was a goddess in every way. Bucky hated to admit he'd been addicted to her, once. 

She'd saved him from himself, and he'd killed her for it. Something in him had short circuted that night and he panicked; he still didn't even remember everything that happened, but he remembered enough. He knew she had a metal plate in her skull that gave her headaches so bad sometimes that she'd cry herself to sleep in Steve's arms, and a trick hip he gave her, before the serum they had administered to bring her back had started to accelerate her healing, among other things. He could still remember the way her throat felt when in collapsed in his hands, the way her hair matted and tangled with blood. That wasn't even the only time he'd hurt her, and yet she still wanted him to stay. Maybe it was all for Steve, maybe not. He'd gotten along just fine without Bucky before. 

Her skin was so warm and moist against his as she slid herself along the length of his shaft. His Adam's apple bobbed violently. Chase took Bucky's thick length and positioned it at her opening, before shifting the weight of her hips downward. It tore noises from both of them. Chase's boots didn't quite touch the ground on either side of the chair, so she used Buck's shoulders for leverage to grind herself against him slowly. The hem of her skirt tickled at the soft line of hair above his navel that had emerged from under his bunched up tank. Chase made a noise that made Bucky want to scream. He gripped her hip so tightly with his one hand he was almost frightened he'd injur her, but just like Steve, Chase was tough; she could take a beating.

The way Bucky filled her up at this angle felt indescribable to Chase, and the look in his eyes was making it hard for her to breathe. Maybe coming to him alone like this had been a mistake, maybe it wasn't fair of her, but it was too late now. Chase framed Bucky's face with her hands, fingers entangled in his dark curls, and descended upon his half open mouth. Her kiss felt like electricity that spread through his jaw and down his shoulders, down to other places. He didn't know how much longer he could control himself. "Pats," he breathed against her mouth and she stopped, slowed down just a little. 

Chase was trying to memorize the taste of Bucky's mouth when they both heard something that made them freeze.  _Footsteps._ The pair uttered separate curse words and began scrambling to pull their clothing back together. Bucky stayed seated and Chase had turned to face the wall, attempting to hide how flushed she imagined she was. She heard Steve enter the room and tell Bucky everything was ready for him. Steve must have been calling her name for some time, but she only looked up when Bucky said, "Pats!"

She wished she hadn't turned around. Steve looked so tired, his broad shoulders slumped downward and his normally rosy pallor was ashen. They'd all been through a lot recently. Steve was gazing into her eyes when Chase snapped out of it. "I'd like a moment alone with Buck, if you don't mind, Chaser."

Chase glanced back at Bucky, who just nodded at her. She bowed her head once and filed past Steve for the door. Her heart was still racing when she closed it behind her, and she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. A big part of her wanted him to stay so all of this, all of the things that had happened since he disappeared and resurfaced, wouldn't be all for nothing. They had all sacrificed so much to be a family again. The King of Wakanda was in the lab that was to be Bucky's new hideout. He didn't say anything to her at first, but after she heard the door open and Bucky and Steve approaching from behind her he spoke, "Do you really think there's a cure for him to be found in this lifetime?"

Chase's glance cut to the large cryo-capsule in the middle of the room, then back out the window. "I'll find one If I have to die trying." 

The former Prince glanced at Steve and Bucky enter the room and arched his eyebrows. "Be careful what you wish for."

If either men heard any part of their exhange, they made no sign. Bucky filed past Chase into his new seat without a word, and Steve stopped moving behind her, placing an arm around her shoulders. She stared at Bucky while he waited, preparations to put him back into a medically and cryogenically induced quasi-conscious state already underway. Steve's head was turned and he was speaking in hushed tones to T'Challa off to the side of the lab. Bucky gazed up at Chace from under his dark, curly locks. That look said a lot of things, but more than anything it conveyed to her that he had well and truly made up his mind. Chase felt her face go hot with emotion under his gaze and she briefly wondered what the last thing was that Steve had wanted to speak to him about. His eyes were looking forward with shared resolve and rapt attention, but as Bucky leaned back into the capsule, Chase found that she couldn't stomach watching another one of the people she cared about separate themselves from her. Ducking under Steve's arm, she turned to leave the lab, not even glancing back to gaze at Bucky one last time before he went under. It felt too much like losing him for real. She couldn't help but feel like Tony had bullied him into this, guilted him into putting himself down for a crime that though carried out by his body, had nothing to do with him or his actual will. 

Chase would just have to add that to the list of things she wouldn't be forgiving Tony for. She lit up a cigarette on the terrace and exhaled a cloud of smoke. The sun was starting to go down when she heard footsteps behind her. She could feel Steve there before he spoke, and she silently thanked him for the first words out of his mouth hadn't been chiding her for smoking. "It's not your fault, Kid. You have to know that. This was something Buck thought he had to do."

 _Shows how much he_   _knows_. The fact that Bucky felt his only option was to remove himself well and fully from the equation had nothing to do with the fact that it was every bit as much of her fault as it was Tony's. She wanted to say that, but all she did was nod and mutter. "How much longer are we in Wakanda?"

He shrugged, shoulders still drooping a little lower than usual. "A day or so, enough time to regroup and figure out what's next."

They were on the run now, even without Bucky, and despite just how tired they both were from fighting amongst friends, they still had a lot of work to do.


	3. Make War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chase tries to take matters into her own hands when Tony Stark sequesters Wanda Maximoff, but in the end it blows up in her face.

Chase's ribs were hurting something fierce. She lit up a hand-rolled cigarette with a little more than tobacco in it and exhaled smoke into the darkness from the balcony of the motel they were staying at. She heard the door open behind her just as her mind started to relax. It was Bucky. She gazed at him from under her bangs and offered him a drag, he just looked at her for a minute, assesed the damage on her face, seemed to notice she was holding herself differently. "Buck, don't," she whispered, urging him to take it. He did, but only reluctantly. Smoking always seemed to calm him more than nearly anything. Bucky resisted the urge to snake his arms around her and pull her to him. Steve was inside, and he had just finished breaking a few of her ribs. She'd been caught in an explosion that blew her out of a tank too sure, but his loss of mind shortly afterward hadn't helped any.

Steve was furious. Not with Bucky or Chase, but with Tony. He was holding Wanda in the tower they used to inhabit against her will for her "safety," using the excuse that he'd been threatened with her deportation. Chase was already formulating a plan in her head. Putting her cigarette out in the ashtray on the little dinky patio table, Chase returned inside and confronted Steve. He was sitting in a chair, head in his hands, brows furrowed in anger. She went to him, taking his head in her arms and pressing his face softly to her chest. "I'll go to Avengers tower."

Chase's voice broke the strange silence between all of them, Bucky just stood in the corner, arms crossed, looking broody. Steve looked up. "I don't think that's a good idea, Kid."

Chase's face remained resolute. "I still have things there, he'll let me pass, and I can get Wanda out."

Steve shook his head, frowning. "He'll keep you there like he's keeping her."

Chase smiled an ugly smile and it made her wince, because her face was still sore. "I'm a free, natural-born U.S. citizen, and as far as anyone knows I'm 100% human. There's no record that I'm altered in any way."

"He could out you." Bucky piped up from behind her and she turned to look at him. The yellow flourescent light shone strange against his great metal arm. "He doesn't have any proof."

Steve stood up, looming over her now with his sheer width. "He has Vison."

Chase wasn't afraid of Vision. "He's still a child, he doesn't know how to hurt me. I don't think he has the capacity to hurt anyone yet."

So when Chase showed up at Avengers tower a day or so afterwards, she wasn't expecting to be there for very long. Wanda buzzed her up to the living quarters and gave her a hug as soon as she saw her. "I've missed you so much. I've been bored out of my mind here." Wanda's russian accent drawled attractively, and Chase looked up when she saw Vision come hovering around the corner. "It is good to see you, Patricia." Chase smiled and waved weakly at the newborn powerful being. 

"Hey Vision. Only Tony calls me that, and I hate it."

He looked genuinely abashed, and apologized to her. Chase replied, smiling. "It's really not a big deal. You can just call me Chase."

She looked around before asking, "Where's Tony?"

Vision told her Tony was out on business at the moment, but had tasked him with assesing her injuries before he returned home. That was another reason Chase had given Tony for coming by, other than giving Wanda someone other than Vision to talk to. He had a state of the art medical lab on site, and since he knew she'd been given a serum that improved her both physically and her healing abilities, he'd answered her white-flag call for aid. Regular hospitals would and had asked too many questions.

She sat up on a cold, steel table with her feet dangling in the air. Wanda was sat in an overstuffed chair across from her figeting with her magic. Vision reached out both of his hands and grabbed Chase around the chest, feeling in between her ribs with his fingers. She gasped, and he drew back. His hands were cold. "You have to warn people you don't know before you touch them like that, Vision." 

If he could have flushed any darker, he would have. "I humbly apologize, Chase. I'm still learning more about social interactions."

She smiled, and caught Wanda smiling at her over his shoulder. His mind was a blank slate when it came to absorbing the behavior of humans. His hand brushed her bad hip and she flinched, which made him frown at her with concern. "I'm about to do something that may make you feel a little uncomfortable." 

"Okay," Chase nodded, then gasped when his hand phased strait through her skin and into her body. She jerked when he gently carressed her bad hip, and Wanda had risen from her perch in concern. "I'm afraid your hip has healed incorrectly in a few places, and you have some broken ribs. Minor lacerations on the face," he took her chin in his hands as he continued, turning her face from side to side, "and I'm afraid your range of motion is quite limited."

She nodded, rubbing the spot his hand had penetrated. "I think I'll live until he gets here." 

She hopped off the table and put her jacket back on. She and Wanda stepped outside and Chase pulled another hand rolled cigarette out of a tin case she kept in her pocket. She looked around, lit it, took a hit, and passed it to Wanda, who also glanced around briefly before taking it from her. 

Chase glanced over to Wanda, smoke curling out of her lips, and always felt kind of a desperate sadness constantly clawing at the surface of the foreign girl. Chase had been there to see her eyes go cold when Wanda realized her brother, Pietro Maximoff, wasn't breathing anymore. And now most of the world held her personally responsible for the death of a great number of civilians. They smoked in peace for a while and chatted a bit. Wanda revealed that though he watched like a hawk, Vision wasn't such bad company most of the time. Chase sighed and thew the cigarette butt over the balcony as she saw Tony's car approaching the tower in traffic. "Do you want to come home, Wanda?"

The girl looked surprised, and thought about it. She didnt really know how to answer, because a part of her really did feel responsible for every one of those deaths. She didn't have time to answer, because Vision phased through the door and announced Tony was on his way up. 

Tony was wearing a pretty sharp suit, his beard trimmed neatly, as always. "Chaser, welcome back home."

His arms spread wide as he walked forward through the room. She smiled at him sweetly. "Let's get this over with."

He mocked scorn,.clucking at her. "I have a present to show you first. I think you're going to be really excited."

Even Vision looked perplexed. Wanda shrugged, and Chase gingerly followed Tony into an adjacent room. In it there was a woven vinyl and vibranium suit that started off as blue and faded down into black boots. A holster with matching blue vibranium Asps, Chase's weapon of choice, were dangling off the hips of he mannequin. Tony looked delighted. "What do you think, girlie, suit you?" 

"It's very nice." She really did admire the suit, but everything came at a price with Tony. She didn't bother wondering gow he got het measurments. Just as she suspected, he pulled out a rather large document she immediately recognized as the Sokovia Accords. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You can have it, and the weapons, to use as you see fit, when and  _only when_  we've been assembled by the collective board. Just sign it."

She glared down at the papers. "My name had better not be in there, Tony." 

Tony's face didn't change, but he did shrug. Almost as if to say he was sorry. "It would be borderline treasonous of me to leave your name out when I know you've been altered."

Chase shook her head as furiously as her injuries would allow. "You know I won't sign that. I don't care if you out me."

He slapped a pen on the table. "I will, Chase. Don't think I won't."

Chase shook her head. "What do you want, Tony?"

He pointed at her neck, where a few flowerish, purple colored bruises had bloomed. "Those love nips?"

Chase's hand instinctively flew to her neck. "That's none of your business."

He was around the table before she could back away, and his hand brushed up against her cut lip. Chase recoiled. "When was the last time you saw Barnes?"

Tony went to touch her again and she slapped his hand away. "I didn't come here for you to grill me, Tony."

"He do all of this to you?" Suddenly he grabbed her by her bad hip, and her leg collapsed a little. She fell into Tony for a moment, and he began kneeding her ribs with his large hands. "We're going to have to wrap your chest."

She shrugged away from him. "Fine."

He went across the room and procured some ace wrap. "You're going to have to take your-"

Chase was already removing her top, and she turned around as she unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor. "Just do it, before I change my mind and go get Wanda."

It was cold in the room, and Vision's grasp had been like ice, but Tony's hands were warm as he gingerly wrapped Chase's chest tightly and clasped the elastic together with little pieces of metal teeth. His hands lingered over her breasts for just a breath too long. She stepped away from him, but not before he could spin her around and into his arms. He pressed his neatly manicured mouth against hers and she protested, pulling away and turning around in his grasp. "I have a better idea," Tony whispered into Chase's hair as one of his hands snaked down the front of her pants.

Chase shivered, goosebumps erupted all over her skin where he touched her. She glanced at the shiny new Asps, currently held by the mannequin in the corner. They were too far away. His other arm came to cradle her face from under her armpit, tangling in her hair. "Fuck me like you fuck Bucky and Steve, and maybe I'll think about making this all go away."

She inhaled very deeply, and it made her chest ache. Steve, fine. But  _how did he know about Bucky?_ She had only just barely put the pieces together with the help if Bucky himself after he resurfaced. "I have footage."

Tony said this as if knowing she would ask. He offered to show it to her, but she declined, shaking her head as much as she could manage. "You're very vocal. I like that in a woman." 

Chase stuttered when he started moving his fingers in casual circles around her clit through her underwear. "I'm beginning to see why Pepper isn't around anymore."

His hand stopped moving and she froze, then he unzipped her pants and yanked then down her hips. "Well, there's a reason she stuck around so long."

Tony began licking at Chase's earlobe and she sucked in a chest full of cold, painful air. "If you fuck me, I won't tell Steve about Bucky."

Tony's hand cupped Chase from behind and she began to realize she wasn't just going to be able to talk herself out of this one. "You know it would crush him," Tony practically purred against her. He was drunk on the fact that he had this ammo against Steve now, and it was all her fault. "Get me something to drink. Now."

Tony obliged her, while she kicked her pants away from her legs, standing now in only ace wrap and underwear. Tony returned with a bottle and two glasses, chuckling. "I like that look on you."

Chase glared and snatched the bottle of brown liquor from his hands, twisting the top of and bringing it to her lips. It wasn't enjoyable, and it didn't taste good, but it would do the trick. Chase's lips, mouth, and throat burned in protest. Tony looked disappointed. "And just when I was starting to get used to the taste of weed, cigarettes, and shame."

She set the bottle down with a loud noise and wiped her mouth. "Why are you doing this?"

She honestly wanted to know whether or not it was just to hurt Steve. The reasoning was too petty for a grown man. Tony seemed to think about it for a minute, taking a drink. "Well, as much as I would  _love_ to see the look in Steve's eyes when he realizes his lady-love tried to fuck his best friend into coming back and failed miserably, I've been wondering how you taste for a long time."

Chase was holding her breath. She wondered if he knew that she'd been with Bucky since he came back, but hoped he didn't. She didn't know if more ammo would change his mind. And he was right, she knew. It would crush Steve to know she'd been with Bucky, and it would hurt even more that she hadn't told him. One thing was for certain though, if he ever found out about this it would crush him more. She had to be careful. She walked toward him, taking the glass from his hand and setting it down. Grabbing what little there was of his beard, she crushed her burning lips against his. His mouth opened, inviting her tongue in. She expected to be relieved of the lingering liquor on her tongue, but it only mingled with what was left over in Tony's mouth. He grunted, catching her, carefully navigating around her wounded torso. She broke away from him for a moment to catch her breath. "You can't tell him about this, either."

His hand slipped back into the front of her underwear, making small noises emanate from her. "That would just be cruel."

He said this while toying with her skin and removing his own clothing with his other hand. The room they were in only had the mannequinn, a conference table, and some chairs. Tony backed Chase up into the table and lifted her effortlessly onto it. She was starting to feel dizzy. Tony removed her underwear and buried his face between her legs, and Chase's hands instinctively tangled in his short, dark hair. His warm tongue lapped circles around her center, and she fought not to cry out or scream. The room itself was windowless, but that didn't mean no one could hear them. Chase's breath was coming out in short litte gasps when Tony returned to eye level, pressing his warm, salty lips into hers. She sucked at the taste of herself on his bottom lip and her teeth caught it, just slightly. Tony growled and pushed her hips just a little wider, before forcing himself slowly inside of Chase. She gasped loudly and grabbed on to his shoulders for support. He still had a dress shirt on and his tie was hanging loose, half undone. Chase grabbed the tie at the base of Tony's neck just before he slammed back into her, and a strange, choking sound came out of him. Chase hated to admit that the now bachelor billionaire knew his way around the female anatomy. She could tell he was holding back, being careful of her injuries. Or trying, anyways. Her hips ached increasingly with each thrust, and though having her chest wrapped was helping immensely, breathing was still a laborious task for her.

Tony leaned into Chase a bit, forcing her to use one arm to brace herself against the table, with the other still tangled in his tie. Surprisingly, she was much more comfortable like this, she didn't have to use her core as much to stay upright. He was so warm, sliding in and out of her, that she began to lose herself in his rhythm. He closed the distance between them and devoured what sounds she would have made with his own mouth. The friction of his lower abdomen against her at this angle was threatening to push her over the edge. Chase's head fell back and Tony buried himself in her neck, leaving teeth marks and trails of warmth. Tony changed his angle and began pumping into her with shallow, upward motions. Chase came almost instantly along with the change of pace, and Tony exploded inside of her shortly afterward. His hips crashed into her so deep Chase fought not to cry out. Tony continued moving in and out of her, progressively slower, cooling down his breathing, and Chase could feel him leaking out of her onto the table.

Tony helped her get cleaned up and back into her clothing. He stood behind her, holding her, for what seemed like too long. "You could stay the night, you know. It'd be just like old times."

Chase shrugged away from him. "I'll think about it." 

She wouldn't really think about it; she'd been here long enough. Taking one last lingering look at the suit he'd had made for her, Chase exited the conference room and went to go grab some of her things. She was packing clothes and other necessities in a bag when Wanda knocked softly on her slightly open door. Chase waved her in. Chase was going through her gun closet and pulling out everything she personally owned while Wanda watched her. "Are you okay, Chase?"

Chase zipped up the bag and smiled. She had no idea what look had been on her face before. She was anything but fine right now, but she didn't let Wanda in on that. "Tony just gave me a lot to think about."

Wanda nodded, as if the explanation satisfied her curiosity. "He wanted you to sign the accords, didn't he?"

Chase sighed. "Among other things."

Wanda seemed to understand, even if she didn't know exactly what happened. "I think I'll stay a little longer. I can't help but think it would only put you in more danger right now to take me with you."

Wanda was probably right, but that didn't matter to Chase. All that mattered was that she was where she wanted to be, that she had a choice. "Just as long as you know this is going to get worse before it gets better."

The petite woman rose from her perch beside Chase on the bed. She exited the room before coming back with another black bag full of what was probably mostly Steve's clothing. "I cleared some things out of Steve's room. In case Bucky needs something to wear."

Chase hugged the Wanda before thanking her, grabbing both bags and walking out the door. She made a pit stop in the conference room on her way out and stuffed the suit Tony had made for her into her bag. She hooked the utility belt with asps around her waist and began the way toward the elevator. About halfway down to the lobby the elevator came to a halt, Tony's voice sparked to life over the speakers inside of it. "Are you seriously leaving without even saying goodbye?"

Chase rolled her eyes, dropping the bags. "Turn this thing back on, Tony."

"You know, I have half a mind to drag your ass back up here with that suit. Have you detained for stealing from the government."

Chase looked around the little compartment for a camera, wondering if Tony could see her. "Something tells me the government didn't pay for the suit,  now let me go. You have no legal way to keep me here."

Tony chuckled. "Right, you can't exactly be S.H.I.E.L.D's little poster child for reformation anymore, seeing as S.H.I.E.L.D is down for the count."

She knew it annoyed Tony to no end that S.H.I.E.L.D, and through them, himself, no longer had any power over her. Not that she had given anyone reason to mistrust her in all the years she'd worked for/with them. Technically she could go back to being an art theif; disappear, never have to worry about saving the world again, but her priorities had shifted slightly in the last few years. "If you want the suit back fine, but you're going to have to come down here and take it from me."

Now that Chase was armed she wasn't feeling as friendly as she had been earlier. The elevator's motor whirred back to life and it began its descent once more. "As entertaining as that would be, I'm a little wiped out right now. Plus, all my suits are charging." 

Chase picked the bags back up as the lift came to one last halt at ground level, before exiting the doors as they whooshed open. "Goodbye Tony."

"Later, Princess," he muttered before disconnecting the overcom. Not entirely sure if she'd heard him.


	4. Thunder

Bucky tugged at the bit of Chase's thin, cotton T-shirt that was exposed from under the cheap motel blanket. Barely consious, she swatted at him in her sleep. He made kind of a desperate noise that, coupled with a huge clap of thunder, jolted her brain to attention. She pushed herself up off of the bed with her arms and looked around. Steve was laying on his side, chest moving in and outward with heavy, steady motions. Rain against the window marbled what little light shone through the curtains. Chase's head turned to the opposite side of the bed where Bucky now stood, shivering, wet hair and clothing creating a damp puddle on the carpet below him. "Bucky, what the fuck happened to you?"

Her breath left her in a hiss and she swung her legs over the side of the bed, trying her best not to move too much and wake Steve. He needed to sleep. When Chase squinted she could see that Bucky's face and hands were streaked with mud. "I-I don't know."

Chase glanced at the door. It was closed, but the area around it was soaked. Getting up to investigate, she tiptoed around the damp areas of carpet and made sure the door was locked and bolted. She then returned to Bucky, grabbing him by his metal arm. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up." 

He nodded, shuffling behind her into the bathroom. She shut the door behind them and turned on the water, waiting with her hand under the stream for it to run hot. Reaching under the sink, she grabbed a linen mesh laundry bag and handed it to him. "Here, start putting your clothes in this."

Without thought he began stripping away wet pieces of hand-me-down clothing from Steve. A soft blue shirt, a pair of sweatpants, white ankle socks, and a pair of half laced, mud covered black boots. She had him remove all of his clothing down to a tight pair of navy blue boxer-briefs, and put his boots in the sink. When the water ran hot Chase pulled the spicket that condensed the rush of water into shower spray. Taking him gently by his metal hand; she kept grabbing for this one because she didn't want to startle him with touch, she led him toward the shower. He peeked at the water through the curtain, and made eyes at it like a stubborn puppy as thunder cracked outside again. Chase sighed. Bucky was sensitive, and she was slowly learning how to carefully navigate the intricacies of his neuroses. Taking a deep breath, she lifted the large sleeping shirt from the hem over her head and left it in a heap on top of the toilet seat. She was now wearing nothing but a comfortable pink bra and soft, cotton panties. She moved the curtain aside as if showing him what to do, and pulled him by the arm with her into the water. 

She adjusted the showerhead so it sprayed into Bucky's chest and not directly over her head. Grabbing some shower gel and a sponge out of a bath kit she found in the bag Wanda had packed full of Steve's things, Chase lathered up the sponge and began to clean Bucky's hands, arms and legs, he watched her carefully while she worked on his calves and feet. Thunder crashed outside again and the lights flickered. When Chase looked up at Bucky he was staring at her chest. She looked down, and her nipples were showing clearly through her now drenched light-pink bra. Bucky reached a now clean hand out and firmly cupped her breast through the wet fabric. Warm water cascaded down her hair and face as Bucky lowered himself to his knees, pulling down Chase's underwear and slipping them off of her ankles. Ever since Bucky had come back the only things that ever made him him feel human were weed, and Chase. But Chase was Steve's girl, Steve loved her, worshipped her, even. She'd reached out and touched him and tried to bring him back from the dark, but the dakness won, and he'd almost killed her. He never felt like he'd be able to repay her for that.

Bucky began lapping away at Chase's folds, and she buried her hands in his thick, damp curls. She'd come back from Avenger's Tower a little worse, and when she finally broke down and told him why, he couldn't help but feel partially responsible. She'd had to sleep with Tony to keep him from telling Steve that she and Bucky were having an affair. Chase could tell Steve she didn't want to be with him, and tell him she didn't love him to the moon an back, he'd still be no less devoted to her. His possible affection for Sharon, and hell, even his affection for Peggy were rivaled by the way he felt about Chase. She had bewitched him. She'd bewitched them both. Sure, her affections could be fickle, but she was loyal to a fault, and for some reason she always knew what to do.

Bucky stood and took Chase in both of his arms, crushing her body to his, and kissed her hard. His metal arm was still cold in places and it made he gasp into his mouth. He moved it, tangling the metal digits in her hair, tugging gently. When that illicited no response, he pulled a little harder, making her cry out softly, exposing her neck to him. He descended upon it, licking and sucking the sensitive skin there, making her writhe in his grasp. She could feel him growing hard through his soaked underwear, pressed up against her hip. He made little subconsious grinding motions with his hips while his teeth dug away at the skin where Chase's neck met her jaw. Bunching her fingers in the waistbaind of his briefs, Chase tugged them down Bucky's legs and he kicked them away, freeing him for Chase to grab ahold of. He gasped, shivering as she pumped slowly away at him while devouring his lips with her mouth.

Even before Bucky came back, he tasted the ghost of Chase sometimes. He'd had no idea what it was, this strange feeling he got in the back of his head, this eerie tingling of lips, just a taste of something good he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember what it was until he tasted her again, and it all came back to him.

_Chase hadn't taken her eyes off of Bucky in a long time. Steve was off negotiating with Tony, or something to that effect, which left Sam and Chase to hold down the fort. Sam couldn't stand to be around Bucky for more than a few minutes at a time, so she stayed close by him while they waited for Steve to return. His cold, empty eyes never gave away anything, he'd cloistered himself so far away inside of himself that Chase couldn't begin to see through. "You don't remember me, do you?"_

_It was the first time she had spoken to him directly without Steve present. He seemed to consider her words, but then shook his head. "No."_

_Chase stood up, crossing the room to where Bucky was sitting. He looked up at her where she stood in front of him, arms crossed. "Yeah, I don't remember you either, but they say you gave me these," Chase lifted her bangs, exposing crisscrossing spiderwebs of scars that ebbed from her eye and eyebrow and on into her hairline. "among other things."_

_Bucky looked at the floor. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."_

_Chase crouched down to his eye-level, forcing him to look at her. "Hey, you don't have to explain yourself to me. It's okay. I knew the risks of what I was doing when I went looking for you."_

_His gaze shifted to her then. "Steve let you come looking for me by yourself?"_

_He looked incredulous, like that wasn't something Steve would ever do. And he was right. "I didn't give him much of a choice."_

_Bucky seemed visibly confused by this. Chase was beginning to wonder how much of him was still knocking around in his head. "Why would you come for me?"_

_Chase thought about it for a minute, and couldn't quite come up with the righr words to explain. "I didn't want...I didn't think it was fair to Steve to have to see you like that again."_

_Bucky nodded, sighing, frustrated. "Sounds about right."_

_He stood up, running his hands through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you or Steve. If I could take any of it back I would, but I cant."_

_She gazed up at him, looming over her, and suddenly she could smell the breeze in the trees the night she went looking for him, like she was there. "I know that."_

_She moved closer to him subconsiously, and she could feel his breath on her face. Curious, Chase lifted a hand to the p_ _atch of metal that met skin showing through his sweater. "You Steve's girl?"_

_Chase's hand fell, but he caught it in his metal hand, startling her. "I'm not anyone's girl."_

_Bucky didn't know why he did it, but he leaned down to kiss this girl he barely knew, and as soon as their lips met he regretted it. He remembered her steely resolve, her soft, kind coaxing, and finally, he remembered the way her lips tasted wrapped around his mouth. He'd been a bad boy. He raised his arms to cup her shoulers as they kissed, but was hesitant to touch her with his metal appendage again. Her hand reached up toward it, closing the distance between his cold, shiny palm and her warm, soft skin. As soon as his great hand touched her, his flashbacks became more muddled, more aggressive. He saw Chase's body slam into the wall, coughing furiously as she collapsed to the ground. She limped away in futility, but Bucky loomed behind her, grabbing her by the hair and dragging her out of the facility kicking and begging for him to stop. "BUCKY!"_

_She screamed his name, screamed that he was hurting her, but he never stopped. Cut to Chase on the ground, tears leaking out of her eyes as he slammed her head into the ground by her neck. There was so much blood, her hair was thick with it, marring her beautiful face._

_Breaking the kiss, Bucky flung himself away from her, whimpering. Chase's eyes were wide with surprise. "You remember what happened now, don't you?"_

If Steve had seen the way Bucky threw Chase around like a weightless doll that night, seen the brutality of which his best friend was capable, he would have killed him. Sure, Steve knew the jyst of what happened, and he wasn't exactly thrilled about it, but he was also probably the most empathetic about Bucky's condition not including Chase, and he knew the soldier's fragile sanity had limits. But if he had heard Chase kick and beg and cry and bleed, Bucky was certain the Captain would never be able to forgive him. 

He was cradling Chase to him now, kissing her softly, kissing her the way he wished women wanted to kiss him. Her tongue was warm and sweet as it continued to dance with his. Her hand still moved sweetly up and down the length of his pulsating shaft, and Bucky was making desperate little mewling noises into her mouth. "Wanna be inside you," Bucky mumbled softly into her ear, making Chase shiver down to her soul.

"Please," Chase whispered back softly, and she looked so angelic as she said it that it almost broke Bucky's heart. Reaching down, he slipped a digit into her, and she gasped, cheeks flushing red with warmth. She was so tight, so wet, all for him. Lifting her leg up by the knee with his metal arm, he crushed her as close to him as possible and slid almost effortlessly inside, making her moan his name and bite into his collarbone. "So good," she breathed against his skin as he pumped into her, angle making them both struggle to breathe. Bucky didn't mean to want Chase the way he did. He wished he could change the way she made him feel, especially when he found out how precious she was to Steve. Her wild brand of femininity just called to him and he couldn't put her down. Her body was like a book he couldn't stop reading. He wondered if Steve felt the same way whe he touched her like this, when he was inside of her, making her gasp and moan. Drowning her with his body. He'd wanted to tell Steve so badly, ever since he found out what he'd done, what he continued doing, but he didn't have it in him. Every time he thought he could finally broach the subject, his mouth went dry and all language died on his tongue.

Chase wouldn't tell him. She and Steve had an unspoken arrangement, well, mostly unspoken. He was hopelessly devoted to the woman, and she kept him at arm's length because she couldn't handle being tied down. It still weighed heavy on Steve, though. They both came shaking, simultaneously, which was rare, but Bucky had just the right amount of space and thrust to send Chase over the endge, and he couldn't have held himself back if he tried once she looked into his eyes and whispered his name while she came around him, walls tightening. He continued to pump furiously into her for what seemed like an eternity before he finally slowed down, grunts softening, breathing returning slowly to normal. Chase's chest was still heaving.

They finished cleaning themselves off and got a little drier. Chase went to find new underwear and she scrambled together a new, clean outfit for Bucky. When they were both put together again, Bucky headed over to the armchair he'd been sleeping in, something about laying down for long periods of time making him nervous, but Chase beckoned him quietly to the bed, where she was currently tucking herself closer into Steve's resting body and making room for him on the edge of the bed. The picture was so sickeningly sweet he almost couldn't stand to move and stop looking at them, the only two people on this earth he trusted. The only two people he gave a damn about, and yet he couldn't seem to stop hurting them. 

Bucky walked toward her outstretched hands and Chase helped him in next to her under the covers. It was a tight fit, but they made it work. Chase turned sideways and draped part of her body over Steve, and Bucky did the same to her, tucking his metal arm around Chase, and burying his head in her hair above her head on the pillow. The metallic, rolling noises of thunder continued outside, and the rain didn't sound like it was going to let up any time soon, but for whatever reason the noises helped lull Bucky to sleep, instead of getting in the way.


End file.
